When it’s time to trim the fat or tighten your belt call Hamilton Cranberry, Consultant at Large. With a degree in cutting back from a soon to be accredited university, Hamilton will be the bad guy for you. And the good guy.
Probably just the bad guy.
L.J. McManahan would personally like to show you the manly innovation and development that goes into every Man Roll. But that would require eyeballs reinforced with platinum, so instead watch this behind the scenes tour.
Man Industrial wants to know: are you Man enough to Man up to Man Rolls? Really, Man? If you say so, because you gotta be pretty Manly to Manage the Man Rolls.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Man Industrial “Rolls” out a New Toilet Paper for the Rugged Man’s Man
Mammoth Manor, CA -- November 5, 2009 -- Man Rolls, a new product from Man Industrial, is a toilet paper for the Rugged Man’s Man. Man Rolls are specially formulated to clean any type of skin, no matter how manly, and are at least three times bigger than any of those pussy competitor rolls.
Man Industrial first made a name for itself selling it’s popular line of hand axes and scorpion repellent, and has quickly taken Middle America by storm. “If you’re a man,” says spokesman and CEO L. J. McManahan, “then you’ve used our products.”
Man Rolls will be available at a Bed, Bath, and Beyond or any fine hunting goods store near you.
Contact:
MammothManor@gmail.com
Mammoth Manor, CA
US of F’n A
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Music by IncompeTech
Please don’t let us have cereal anymore, it’s in everybody’s best interest.
